Gobble Gobble

I cruelly analyze shopping carts of people in the grocery store. I pass judgment even though the person just might be having a bad day. By all means, when you feel like shit, nothing relieves pain like Little Debbie snack cakes, Crisco, and jalepeno poppers! Fuck yeah, take that arteries!

Wriggle, Jiggle, Bitch Tits Wiggle

I laugh when I see fat guys jogging. You think the slapping boobicles hurt? I'm more sympathetic to the ladies though, cause even my small boobs hurt when I jog, so those bitches have balls, so to speak.